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chich ;D

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[
Posted on May 03, 2007 @ 5:35 pm
]
Meet me in the moonlight
Underneath our favorite tree
Say you want to be with me
Meet me under the stars
Turn on our favorite song
Say you want to be with me
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[
Posted on March 07, 2007 @ 10:51 pm
]
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

I can't study.
I can't study.
I can't study.


well.. yes, I guess I'm temporarily back on belwicket coz I don't want to use thatis0rgasmic anymore and considering the fact that EVERYTHING was about him.. I had to move back. and what the hell? I need to move on and staying in a place full of memories won't help.


Agus and I broke up.. Last time I wrote here.. we were ooohhh-soooo-inlove (atleast I was) and everything was ooooohhh-sooo-perfect. What happened? don't ask me. seriously, don't. coz I have no idea what happened! did he end up gettin sick of me? maybe. but he tried to get me to believe that he was doing it for me. HELLO. SINCE WHEN IS THAT NOT AN EXCUSE.

anyways.. I cried alot & alot & alot. BUt.. life goes on, right? Yes, I miss him. I STILL DO, I admit it. But.. I tried getting back with him and he said NO. so.. what am I supposed to do? continue annoying him every single day? nah! let him go. Yeah, I'm sure he won't find anyone like me.. I'm so sure of that. because seriously.. now that it's over I've seen and realized SO MANY THINGS but that's his problem now! :) He isn't as perfect as I used to see him.. I'm not saying that he's a monster but..!

I'm better now. I haven't accepted it because I thought he was better than all the other guys but his words were just pure bullshit, so they helped me open my eyes BUT I'm okay, you know? I actually like going to class now.. I go out with my friends now! I don't have to worry about getting home late.. I don't have to give any explanations to anyone.. I admit I miss all the things we had.. so much. But I can't spend the rest of my life crying and wondering "what the hell did I do wrong?" I have to keep walking.. coz life goes on! and I'm starting college this yeaaaaar! (I hope)

Right now.. I can't study.
I have an exam tomorrow..
and I just keep thinking and thinking.
about my future :)
I have to decide which university I want to go to and sincerely.. I HAVE NO IDEA!
agh.


reason for writing this lame post:
I can't concentrate! and I just had to talk about these things.
Coz I can't talk about em on my old journal, old or new fotolog (just incase), to my friends (I don't want them to hit me xD), etc.

c'est la vie, right?
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[
Posted on November 10, 2006 @ 10:11 pm
]
when did TAN get "in" in the Philippines?
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Is anyone there? [
Posted on May 30, 2006 @ 6:46 pm
]
I was scared that if I started updating on my other journal. . . that I'd completely forget about this one.

I promised myself that I wouldn't stop writing on here.

hum. Eventually.. I forgot bout it.
and yeah, I was about to update a song. [that's all i've been updating since I stopped updating]

But whatever.
I wanna write.

It's almost summer..
I remember last year I was so excited to go to the Philippines! hmm :] not this year.. I'm not going. I cried at first.. but wth? the Philippines isn't gonna leave.. it's always gonna be there! "what about your friends?" I know that.. they remember me, just like I remember them. there's no problem. PLUS! I guess they understand.

Everything's turning out like I want it to turn out.
I'm really happy.

"how do you know that what you're feeling is happiness and not.. something else?"

You just know.


How is everyone?
Does anyone still check this LJ to see if I updated? (I doubt it)
But I want to hear from long lost friends..
I want to be there for people who I haven't been able to be there for.

Anyone there?
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[
Posted on May 08, 2006 @ 11:02 pm
]
These days I'm coming clean, finding light through all the darkness.
You're here supporting me, always faithful, always shining.
Our time, our energy is locked inside our hearts forever.

What we need to be free is ourselves, our unity.

When I close my eyes, I can feel that you're still here with me.
As my heart beats on,

The fire inside still burns completely. When it all unfolds,
when it all goes down,

It reassures me loud and clear that you are around.

Falling down, getting back up so many of these times,

To provide the strength through everything, the truth: it never dies.
And, even if it's not forever, you've strengthened my life.
For who you are and what you mean, I know I can confide.
Your honesty keeps healing me

From all of those who lied.

When I close my eyes, I can feel that you're still here with me.
As my heart beats on,

The fire inside still burns completely.
When it all unfolds, when it all goes down,

It reassures me loud and clear that you are around.

Falling down, rising up so many of these times, gives me strength.

Position for reaction, you're here by my side, and you're living on
wherever everyone...where everyone else died.

There's three words I will say for those times you gave me my life.

When I close my eyes, I can feel that you're still here with me.

As my heart beats on.
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[
Posted on April 14, 2006 @ 1:51 am
]
boredom owns meh.Collapse )
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[
Posted on March 31, 2006 @ 4:45 pm
]
Small, simple, safe price.
Rise the wake and carry me with all of my regrets.
This is not a small cut that scabs, and dries, and flakes, and heals.
And I am not afraid to die.
I'm not afraid to bleed, and fuck, and fight.
I want the pain of payment.
What's left, but a section of pigmy size cuts.
Much like a slew of a thousand unwanted fucks.
Would you be my little cut?
Would you be my thousand fucks?
And make mark leaving space for the guilt to be liquid.
To fill, and spill over, and under my thoughts.
My sad, sorry, selfish cry out to the cutter.
I'm cutting trying to picture your black broken heart.
Love is not like anything.
Especially a fucking knife.

Look at me.
Can you tell,
By the way I move and do my hair?
Do you think that it's me,
Or is it not me?
I don't even care.
I'm alive, I don't smell.
I'm the cleanest I have ever been.

Do I drink?
Do I date?
I've got perfect placements.
All my ink satisfied,
In your eyes.
I'm the biggest fan that I've got right now.
I made sure that I look how I wanted to look.
The people around me,
The people surround me.

My stomach hurts now,
And all tied off in lace.
I pray, I beg, for anything to hit me in the face.
And this sickness isn't me.
I pray to fall from grace.
The last thing I see is feeling.

Just look at me, look at me now.
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[
Posted on March 13, 2006 @ 5:46 pm
]
Image hosting by Photobucket
what is it?
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[
Posted on March 01, 2006 @ 3:19 pm
]
I grabbed his hand and closed my eyes.
"whats wrong?" he whispered.
tears started running down my cheeks while i murmured..
"i don't want to be the moon anymore.. i only want to shine."
i didn't know what to do anymore.. all i wanted.. all i want is time with him. i want to be happy like before.. surprises, smiles, laughs, comunication.. just plain estability.
i opened my eyes & looked around, he wasn't there.
i looked down, i had his hand.

i wan't him here.
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[
Posted on February 26, 2006 @ 10:34 am
]
i decided to update again.

i miss updating in english..

things have been really.. weird.
i mean.. one day i'm super happy & the next super depressed. full of ups & downs, yo!

& i miss the philippines so much.

i miss tali.. the jetskis.. the people.. the sand.. the cliffs.. the sea.. the huge houses.. the late night dvds.. the scary stories.. the card playing.

aix. :s

i miss southville.. the people.. my classmates.. the weird teachers.. the tiny school.. my people.. the activities.

i miss the night life.. absinthe.. prince of jaipur.. the fort.. greenbelt 3.. the people.. the life.

i miss.. alotta things. :/

who knows if i'm gonna see em again.
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[
Posted on February 09, 2006 @ 9:29 am
]
i'm not sick but i'm not well.

i don't know if i can say..
that everything's gonna be okay.

i don't know anymore.
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[
Posted on February 02, 2006 @ 12:03 am
]
Sometimes I feel life isn't worth it
The people I love don't love me back
The world wouldn't stop spinnnin if I jumped off
You have to think like this sometimes to make
All the great times really great!

but..
life.. is good.
right now.

new life. :D
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[
Posted on January 28, 2006 @ 9:32 pm
]
It is strange to think that a grown, sixteen-year-old girl still likes to play in the rain. I, however, have always been compelled to run outside just as the downpour begins. There is something special about drenching rains that I find fascinating. I love the smell just before the storm arrives. I love the foreboding winds sweeping in the ominous clouds. I love the warm water soaking my hair, clothes and skin. I love to skip in the rapids which form along the sides of the street fighting to reach the drain. And I love the way I become hypnotized by the sound of the rain pelting against my skylights.

Sometimes I find this love juvenile and other times I find it romantic. I often giggle and laugh at how crazy I am to be playing in such weather. But, I also close my eyes and relive scenes from old movies where people fall in love in the rain. So, all-in all the one emotion to describe my feelings during this time is giddy.

Before resorting to frolicking, I close my eyes and let the cold winter rain seep into my being, my existence. I almost feel saturated with life when I do this. I don't think there is any other time when I feel more alive than when I am splashing around in the puddles.

When I start getting chilly the magic is lost, and I know I must return to the dry, uneventful life of my house. However, more often than not, after returning inside I can be found letting the warm water of a shower soak into my being.
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[
Posted on January 28, 2006 @ 9:08 pm
]
the rain..
the snow..
the pain..
our souls..
the coldness..
the darkness..

it's beauty.
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[
Posted on January 23, 2006 @ 11:34 pm
]
screw IT.
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[
Posted on January 23, 2006 @ 5:57 pm
]

WHEN THE ;; MOON HiTS YOUR EYE ;; LiKE A BiG PiZZA PiE;;
                   THAT'S AMORE

WHEN THE ;; WORLD STARTS TO SHiNE ;; LiKE YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH WiNE
                   THATS AMORE

WHEN THE ;; STARS MAKE YOU DROOL;;  LiKE PASTA FAZOOL ;;
                    THATS AMORE  

WHEN YOU ;; DANCE DOWN THE STREET ;; WiTH A CLOUD AT YOUR FEET ;;
                  YOU'RE iN LOVEE
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[
Posted on January 18, 2006 @ 8:05 pm
]
new layout.


What's going on?
 

[what the hell is happening..]
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[
Posted on January 13, 2006 @ 11:30 pm
]
13-01-06

OMG. We’re in 2006! :O yep.. already.. who would’ve thought that my family would break apart and i’d go live to Barcelona with my mom & bro. Who would’ve thought that i would meet such great people here and still have my good friends in the Philippines.

I miss it, I really do. Oh god.. emoness owns meh right now.. I just finished reading all that cute letters leslie would write to me back in gr.5 & 6, the letters paula wrote me this summer & the note that leslie left me in my notebook. how can they be so.. I don’t know.. perfect? I mean.. they are everything to me and always will be.. thing is.. I don’t know how they can stand me.. and I don’t know if they know that I’m so fxcking glad that I met them.. that I wish I had em here.. that I’m so grateful for everything.. for all the memories, for all the help and for just being there by my side. I don’t know if they know that I think about em constantly and always say to myself “if leslie was here.. if paula was here..” did ya know that I haven’t eaten at KFC yet coz I’m scared to breakdown and miss them even more.. I don’t know if they know that every time I listen to John Mayer, Michelle Branch, Bonnie Bailey, Linkin Park, Dido, Moulin Rouge, Moony, Moon pools and caterpillars, etc. that I remember all the things we’ve done together and whisper to myself “thank you.” I don’t know if they know that without them, I would be a complete different person.. why? 1. they helped me be the person that I am today. 2. they complete me. I know all of this sounds so cheesy but it’s the simple truth.. & I want them to know that even though I don’t call, or email much.. that I have em in my mind constantly and that I will NEVER forget em.

+Collapse )
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[
Posted on January 10, 2006 @ 10:12 pm
]
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
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spam me. xD
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[
Posted on January 06, 2006 @ 12:12 pm
]
+Collapse )
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